Saturday, 7 February 2009

TOUGH LOVE

I may have found my chat, I haven't claimed it back yet but it is definitely starting to peep out of it's hidey hole. I now just need to find the desire to use my camera again.

My wonderful eldest son put me in a difficult spot this week. Due to us being somewhere hot and sunny next week on the day of the parent teacher interviews I had asked his form tutor, during a telephone conversation, if I could write notes to all his teachers for feedback. Instead she took it upon herself to write notes to them all requesting the information I needed, collect all the resulting notes and then post them out to me - wonderful woman I can not praise her high enough. The reason I was on the phone to her in the first place??? She called me last Friday night, from home, to let me know that Matthew had an important piece of English homework (she is his English teacher too) that he had not handed in and it needed doing over the weekend and then explained exactly what was needed to me - like I said a fantastic teacher.

I digress. Mr Posty bought us these notes on Thursday lunch time while we were both at home. They were opened and read accompanied with lots of tuts and sighs. This is where I must stress that I don't mind what grades my children get as long as it is their best effort whether it be a D, C or an A*. Matthew, according to his teachers, is capable of A's and A*'s in all but one of his subjects. The maths teacher even commented that he has a "real ability" just before he mentions lazy and childish. They also say that he had improved before Christmas making a real effort - now could this have been me threatening to cancel his Christmas I wonder??? but since New Year he has slipped back.

He was warned, more than once, what would happen if he did this again. As always, true to my word and not one for idle threats I got on the phone to his form tutor. We discussed the notes and then I requested that he be put on report. So now every lesson he has to hand in a sheet to his teacher at each of his 5 lessons and they have to grade his effort and behaviour from 1-5. If he gets a 1 or 2 for any of these he gets an instant detention that night and he is banned from the Xbox at home. 3 and above means he gets to go on the Xbox for a limited time that evening AFTER I have inspected his homework diary, school books and his homework. This way I am getting to know everything that happens in lessons and can act accordingly. Yesterday was his first day and I am pleased to say that he stepped up to the mark and got 3, 4, 4, 5, 5 which isn't bad. It was his form tutor who gave him the 3 due to him loosing his book ???!!! Guess what he is doing today until he finds it.

Does parenting ever get any easier??? At the moment it just seems to be getting harder and harder. I was 100 times worse than Matt at his age so I am sure that this serves me right, I can almost see my parents nodding as they read this last comment with a wry smile on their faces.

I will be back at some point soon with a photograph as SuzyB has tagged me to do the 6 of 6. Thanks Suzy!

7 comments:

Jenga said...

*sigh* kids!!! I would be like you hun - tough love is the only way to go. James is causing me grey hairs right now. An angel all day at school, an Angel when being cared for by either set of Grandparents, but as soon as he is anywhere near me he is a right little sh!t!!! Cheeky, insolent, wild, attitude central!!!! Aaarrrgghhhh!!

Anyway, hugs and I hope he keeps it up :)

Eleanor said...

Yup, agree with Jen, but tough love was not my strongest point, and by golly you reap what you sow. It takes a lot of moral strength and determination to see it through, qualities I'm sure you possess in spades. But when it gets hard, we're here to bolster you up. xxx
If it's any consolation, it's the very able ones who do this, but you know that anyway. Fab that you have such support from his form tutor, the dedicated ones will do anything to see their bright young students achieve their potential.
E
xx

Mima said...

I just can't get over what a fantastic form tutor that Matthew has - she really is a star. Glad to hear that he got such good marks yesterday, tough love is obviously working, so hold onto that strength that you have.

Photographing Mom said...

It is hard work!! I think I can say it does get easier in a way when they move out.

Continue on with your tough love and you should gain a friend for life later!!

Hugs.

Mandy said...

I know how you feel hun, we have been going through the same with Jed.
It can feel like you are fighting for them to have it all and they are turning around and giving you V's.
Kids eh.

Glad you have good teachers to support your hard work at home. xox

Chris T said...

It does sound as though his form teacher is a gem! does parenting get easier- no I don't think so - just different. You never stop worrying but the goalposts change. :-)

Louise said...

I've learned that having children is all a big juggling act. You get in a routine/rhythm and can keep the balls in the air, but then someone throws in an extra ball or you drop one and get a different ball and you lose your rhythm for a while, but keep at it and you'll get those balls back in order!

Just noticed your blog's gone wide - it fills my screen - how did you do that??